Canceling Our Critical Spirits

Audio Transcript

Hello friends, welcome back to the podcast. I’m so glad you’re here and super excited about today’s episode. It actually started off pretty fiery—I began recording a few days ago, but I was too fired up and felt convicted to pause, humble myself, and do some self-reflection before approaching this topic.

Today, we’re going to talk about canceling the critical spirit—being harsh in our words and how we speak about others, especially within the Christian creator community online. This includes social media like Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, podcasts, and more.

At first, this episode came from noticing this issue in others. A few people even came to mind. But as I researched and reflected, I felt God telling me to look at myself first and see how far I’ve come in this area over the past five years.

So forgive me if I get a little fiery or stirred up—it’s a topic close to my heart, probably because it used to be who I was.

Before we dive in, I want to offer a quick prayer:

Father, Holy Spirit, please help me be humble. Help me take the plank out of my own eye before removing the speck from my brother or sister’s eye. Remind me of your grace and truth. Help my words to be gracious and seasoned with salt, encouraging and edifying others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now, I have two recommendations for you today. First, a sermon by Tim Mackie from The Bible Project titled Paradise Now. It blew my mind—everything Tim says makes me want to grow closer to God. I’ll link that below.

Second, a podcast episode that complements this topic: Kicking Critical Spirits to the Curb with Lisa Harper on Back Porch Theology. Lisa says, “When God calls you to confront a brother or sister in sin, that does not include disparagement, judgment, or critique. Those are not restorative. Confrontation is hard, but it is not belittling or disparaging.” I love how she uses the word restorative, and we’ll unpack that more later.

To give you context, when I first started this episode, I thought about other people and the culture. But I didn’t consider myself. I realized this critical spirit issue is really prevalent now, especially with the explosion of digital media over the last 10 to 15 years—YouTube, podcasts, social media, and the information age have fed into this culture of criticism.

Recently, my mom sent me a text with links to social media posts involving Christian creators debating who was right. Without naming names, one creator was harsh and disparaging, calling another’s teaching unbiblical. Then a third creator rebuked the first. It was a mess of judgment and division, and I felt frustrated seeing this.

That frustration led me to remember: before we get angry with others, we need to look at ourselves. This critical spirit can look different for everyone, but it’s still dangerous.

You can’t escape it if you’re online—TikTok response videos, YouTube commentary, Twitter wars, hot takes, and clickbait all thrive on conflict because it drives views and engagement. Politically, the media fuels division and tribalism, creating an “us versus them” mindset.

This tribalism and division are exhausting, and sadly, it’s not new. As Ecclesiastes reminds us, there’s nothing new under the sun. Conflict, drama, and division have always been part of human sinfulness, even in the Old Testament.

What we’re seeing in our culture today really isn’t much different from what happened back in the time of the Exodus. That’s actually kind of encouraging when you think about it—there’s truly nothing new under the sun. The only difference is that with modern technology and new developments, things look different than they did in Bible times.

So I had to step back and ask myself: Where does a critical spirit come from? Why do we have this inclination to critique, to judge, to be crude or harsh? Why do we fall into this “I’m right, you’re wrong,” “us versus them” mentality? Why do we love hot takes, Twitter wars, and TikTok response videos where people belittle others for saying something “stupid” or “wrong”? Why do we crave this drama, even reading the comment sections on political posts where one side bashes the other?

There are many reasons, but at the root, it’s pride. Pride is the root of all sin and evil. It’s a kind of arrogance—a sense of “I’m better than you” or “I know more than you.” We saw that very root of pride back in the Garden of Eden.

So, as I wrestled with this, I started angry and frustrated at others. I thought, “These people are wrong, this isn’t a good witness, it turns people away from the faith.” But the more I peeled back the layers, the more I realized two things: first, this is the sin of pride; and second, I had to look at myself.

Let me be honest—apart from Christ’s work and the Spirit living in me, I can be extremely critical, judgmental, and cynical. I’ve enjoyed conflict and been very prideful. I have to take the plank out of my own eye before I can see clearly to help with the speck in someone else’s eye. It’s always easier to look at others and tear them down without examining ourselves.

A quick personal update—I recently applied for seminary. It felt like a far-off dream, but now I’m actually moving forward with the process—writing essays, getting recommendations, and preparing for an interview. One essay asked me to reflect on diversity—not just ethnic diversity, but diversity of thought, theological perspectives, and ideology. That really made me think.

Growing up, I was very combative and argumentative. I joke that I’m a quarter Mexican and that the women in my dad’s family are “spicy.” At every family gathering—Thanksgiving, Christmas—there was always a debate or argument. When you were wrong, you got called out, and it was very direct. I laugh about it now, but that combative, critical spirit was natural for me.

Back when I was on YouTube, posting videos discussing theological convictions and disputable matters, I craved the engagement—the comments, the agreement or disagreement, the attention. Those videos fed my pride and critical spirit more than pointing me to Jesus and His grace.

So how have I grown? Honestly, not as much as I’d like. One area I’m very convicted about and working on daily is harshness in my speech and attitude. I’ll talk more about that soon.

Over time, I’ve practiced emptying myself before God, longing for more of Him. I read Humility by Andrew Murray, which talks about being an empty vessel—emptying yourself so God can fill you. We bring nothing good to the table, but God still loves, redeems, and blesses us.

Recently, a friend and I started studying the book of Haggai together, holding each other accountable. It’s a short book, just two chapters, but even there God speaks through the prophet about the people’s hearts and rebuilding the temple. Because their hearts were unclean, their work would be unclean—but God still says at the end, “I will bless the work you have done.” That’s the gospel right there.

We come into this world unclean—we bring nothing to really give—and yet God blesses, redeems, and restores us. For me, as I practiced emptying myself before God over time, allowing His gospel of grace and the good news of His kingdom to fill and wash over me, there simply wasn’t room left for puffed-up opinions that cause division. There wasn’t space for a critical spirit toward others because I became more aware of my own critical spirit, my own sin, and shortcomings.

Also, switching to a gospel-centered church two years ago has changed everything. What I love most about a gospel-centered church is hearing the message of grace every single Sunday and taking communion weekly. When we look to the cross at Calvary, we are reminded who Jesus is in light of who we are and what He did for us. The more we see our own sin compared to Christ’s sinlessness, the less desire we have to focus on the sins of others. We stop fixating on disputes, debates, and disagreements and instead focus on what Jesus focused on—His kingdom.

Milton Vincent said in A Gospel Primer:
“When my mind is fixed on the gospel, I have ample stimulation to show God's love to others, for I am always willing to show love when I am freshly mindful of the love God has shown me.”

I’d add that the same is true for God’s grace and mercy. Our words, opinions, and judgments naturally become seasoned with grace the more we allow God’s grace to be real and tangible in our lives.

People from all backgrounds, denominations, Christian traditions, and political parties will one day be found face down at Jesus’ feet. When we see people online calling out false teachers or false teaching, wanting the truth to be known, it’s easy to become hard-hearted. We get more concerned with what others are doing wrong than with our own lives. But scripture calls us to focus on ourselves—repenting, confessing, and praying Psalm 139: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” God will do this.

Andrew Murray, in his book on humility, says humility is the virtue through which all other virtues—grace, hope, love—are experienced. Without humility, we cannot truly experience God.

This leads me to a resource I want to share and a deeper thought: Jerry Bridges’ book Respectable Sins—which I haven’t read yet but it’s on my list—has a chapter on the “respectable sin of judgmentalism.” A respectable sin is subtle and socially accepted. Judgmentalism, or having a critical spirit, is one of those sins.

There are a couple of sides here. One is when, in our everyday lives, we cast judgment based on personal opinions or convictions—that’s the critical spirit we see daily. A third side I’m learning about is that I’ve noticed a critical spirit creeping into how I relate to my own children. How can I condemn others online for harshness or poor witness while holding the same critical spirit with my kids? That’s convicting.

Bridges says judgmentalism is subtle because it’s often disguised as zeal for what’s right. There are many opinions on theology, conduct, lifestyle, and politics, but we tend to assume our opinion is correct—and that’s where judgmentalism begins.

I get more convicted every day about this critical spirit, because it’s really just naive arrogance—a belief that my opinions are correct, that I’m on the right side of history or morality. That pride is at the root of it all.

But there’s another kind of critical spirit I want to highlight—when we truly want truth to be heard. My original frustration in making this episode came from seeing false teaching and misrepresentation of Christ online. Wanting to defend Christ and biblical truth is good, but the danger is when discernment and rebuke become disparaging and belittling.

Our pastor says it best: “You can be right and still be wrong.” You might rightly point out someone’s error, but you can still be wrong in how you communicate it. The attitude and approach matter.

Respectable Sins reminds us that while we should question practices and beliefs clearly out of line with Scripture, we can still sin if we do so with a self-righteous or harsh attitude. We must not descend into character assassination.

That’s what we’re seeing so much online—there are tons of creators, podcasters, commentators, influencers, whatever you want to call them, who make a living addressing what’s unbiblical in our culture and calling out different people. In doing so, they often disparage, belittle, speak harshly, come across as self-righteous, and attack people’s character.

A lot of it comes down to tone and attitude. The Bible talks about the aroma of Christ—you can tell when someone “smells” like Him. You watch a video and think, “That doesn’t smell like Christ.” Jesus describes Himself as gentle and lowly. The opposite of gentle and lowly—the opposite of Christ’s character—is harshness.

Many people, myself included, can be harsh or crass in how we speak, whether generally or when discussing others. Sometimes we do it with the intent to defend Scripture or proclaim the truth. But if our words are harsh, lacking the aroma of Christ, or belittle someone’s character—that’s a sin too.

This form of judgment, this critical spirit, damages our witness. Whether it’s creators online who tear others down so harshly that they turn off unbelievers, or us within our church communities or workplaces, harsh speech is the opposite of Christ.

Another point I want to make: We don’t need commentators or creators constantly criticizing others to discern right from wrong. The more we rely on them for discernment, the less we develop that skill ourselves. We grow in discernment by taking significant breaks from social media, silencing the noise, sitting with God’s Word, leaning on His Spirit, and being in community.

Jackie O’Perry once said, “You don’t need a constant diet of someone tearing down the body to teach you how to contend for the faith.” That’s so true.

So here’s my practical advice: If you follow someone whose content mostly tears others down, creates division, or answers every question with harsh critique and no grace or gospel, just steer clear. There are plenty of teachers and creators who help you discern truth with grace, charity, humility, and love, always pointing you to Christ.

When I reflect on this culture of critical Christianity, I wonder if Jesus would give us our own “woes.” Like the Pharisees—those religious leaders who memorized Scripture and contended for the faith—were sharply criticized by Jesus. They were blind guides, legalistic, burdensome, divisive, prideful, egotistical.

In Matthew 23:13, Jesus says, “You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.” In other words, they were so focused on minor issues they missed the major sin of lovelessness and pride.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

This is a big takeaway I got from Lisa Harper’s podcast episode—it was convicting, especially for me in this season of mothering. Our words should never be harsh; they should be gentle and always edifying. Nothing we say should tear down or attack character—it should extend grace.

At the beginning of this episode, I mentioned my mom’s question: “Whose side are you on? Whose side do you land on?” That really gets to the heart of this issue. There should be no “other side” except God’s side against the ultimate enemy, Satan.

Satan loves a divided church. He loves disputes, debates, and disagreements that distract us from the kingdom. He loves hardened hearts and wants us to waste time in online arguments or make snide remarks to friends and family. Pride is the root of all sin, and Satan knows it’s a pathway to destruction.

But Satan hates it when we’re so filled with God’s love and grace that we pour that same love and grace out to others. So here’s a question to leave you with:

Are you quick to extend critique or quick to extend grace? Are you quicker to notice someone else’s sin than your own?

Let’s be people who, like Jesus, extend grace upon grace upon grace. Let’s be Christians who don’t gatekeep heaven with legalism but reveal heaven through our words, attitudes, and hearts. Let’s not just speak Christ’s words—let’s “smell” like Him.

Jesus is gentle and humble. He is kind, compassionate, loving, and full of truth. There’s tension in how we defend truth, contend for the faith, and call out false teaching—all done in love and with careful discernment.

That takes prayer, patience, and slow, measured responses. The trouble comes when we don’t hold our tongue, when we’re quick to anger and quick to speak instead of being slow to listen, as James advises.

Taming the tongue is hard—one of the first things to slip when I’m having a hard day. But Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer each person.” Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

Let’s cultivate the aroma of Christ in our words.

So my final exhortation on this topic of having a critical spirit: Let’s get in the habit of checking ourselves before we check others. Let’s pray, “Lord, search me and know me. Reveal any grievous way in me.” Let’s see the pride in our hearts before we point it out in others.

Let’s practice taking the plank out of our own eye before pulling the speck from our brother’s.

Let’s be aware of where we can be harsh—not just with difficult people but with our kids, friends, and family. When we feel the urge to share a critical opinion, especially in private conversations, let’s check ourselves.

Finally, let’s uphold the truth of Scripture and defend the faith—but with utmost charity, grace, and love, just as Jesus did.

If this helped, please consider leaving a review, sharing the episode, or reaching out to me to let me know how it encouraged you. That’s how this message grows and impacts more lives.

Thanks so much for listening. I’ll catch you again next week.